Have you or your partner ever experienced racing thoughts during sex? Not just fleeting thoughts here and there, but thoughts that take your whole attention away from what you’re doing?
And has that stress ever ruined the moment? Did you become too distracted to enjoy the encounter?
It happens to lots of people. But an approach called mindfulness meditation may help.
When a person is being mindful, they are focusing their mind on the present moment. During sex, this might mean giving full attention to their partner’s touch, whisper, or scent and not to the tower of paperwork waiting at the office.
Mindfulness is also nonjudgmental. Thoughts of that misplaced invoice at work might sneak into your mind, but you can let it go without stressing about it and return your attention to your partner and sexual pleasure.
Studies have shown that mindfulness can be effective for treating sexual problems. In October 2019, the Journal of Sexual Medicine published a review of medical studies on the topic. Researchers reported that mindfulness might especially benefit women who had negative thoughts about sex (such as fear and shame). In the studies, many women reported improved sexual arousal, desire, and satisfaction when they stayed mindful during sex.
Mindfulness meditation can take practice. If you’d like to give it a try, talk to your doctor about mindfulness strategies. You and your partner might consider seeing a sex therapist as well.
Resources
The Journal of Sexual Medicine
Jaderek, Izabela, MSc and Michal Lew-Starowicz, MD, PhD, FECSM
“A Systematic Review on Mindfulness Meditation–Based Interventions for Sexual Dysfunctions”
(Full-text. October 2019)
https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(19)31323-2/fulltext
Psychology Today
Castleman, Michael, MA
“Mindfulness Meditation Helps Resolve Many Sex Problems”
(May 1, 2019)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201905/mindfulness-meditation-helps-resolve-many-sex-problems
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