7 Tips for Discussing Sexual Health Issues with Health Care Professionals Confidently

The SMSNA periodically receives and publishes ‘guest editorials.’ The current article was submitted by Mia Barnes, a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in women's health, wellness, and healthy living. She is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind Magazine.

Talking about sexual health with your doctor can feel awkward and even nerve-wracking. However, these conversations are a vital part of your overall well-being. Whether you’re dealing with performance concerns, pains, STIs, low libido or changes due to aging, your provider is trained to help without judgment. 

Still, getting the words out can be tough. If you’ve ever left an appointment thinking, “I wish I’d asked that,” you’re not alone. The good news is you can learn to bring up sensitive issues confidently and get the care you deserve. Here are some practical, easy-to-follow tips to help you take charge of your sexual health conversations and make the most of your next visit. 

1. Normalize the Topic

Sexual health is a normal part of your overall health, like your blood pressure or cholesterol. Your doctor has heard it all before and is trained to discuss these topics professionally and respectfully. What feels embarrassing to you is likely routine to them. When you remind yourself that this is a valid health concern, it becomes easier to bring up. Think of it as giving your provider the full picture, which helps them support you better. 

2. Prepare Ahead of Time 

If you’re nervous, plan ahead. Before your appointment, write down your symptoms, questions or anything that’s been bothering you, even if it seems minor. Be as specific as possible: when it started, how often it happens and how it affects you. Taking notes helps you stay focused and ensures you don’t forget what you wanted to say. It also gives your doctor better context, which leads to improved care and more targeted solutions.

3. Use Clear, Direct Language 

Try to avoid vague or overly polite terms when discussing symptoms. Medical professionals appreciate clear language, not coded hints. Instead of saying, “I’m having some trouble down there,” try, “I’m experiencing dryness during sex,” or “I have pain after intercourse.” You don’t need to use medical jargon, just honest and plain speech. It may feel awkward at first, but clarity leads to better understanding, faster diagnoses and more effective treatment.

4. Bring Support if Needed 

You don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re feeling anxious, consider bringing someone you trust to the appointment, like a partner, friend or family member. They can offer emotional support and even help you remember key points. Alternatively, bring a written note to hand to your doctor if speaking the words feels too uncomfortable. Sometimes, simply knowing you have a backup plan can ease the tension.

5. Ask a Provider You’re Comfortable With 

Your comfort matters. If discussing sexual health feels easier with a provider of the same gender or someone with specific expertise, you’re allowed to make that request. Many clinics are happy to accommodate preferences when scheduling appointments. You can also ask if there’s someone on staff who specializes in sexual wellness or reproductive health. The more comfortable you feel with your provider, the more open and honest your conversation can be.

6. Understand the Role of Preventive Care 

Talking about sexual health isn’t just for when something’s wrong. It’s also a key part of staying healthy. Preventive care includes services like routine STI testing, pelvic exams, prostate checks and hormone screenings that can catch issues early, even before symptoms show up. These conversations help your provider offer guidance that’s proactive, not just reactive. Being open now could prevent bigger problems later, and many of these services are covered under preventive care benefits. Taking charge of your sexual health is smart, not shameful.

7. Remember Your Rights 

You have the right to respectful, confidential care. If you ever feel dismissed, shamed or uncomfortable, speak up or request a different provider. Your concerns are valid, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. A good doctor will create a safe space for open dialogue and make sure you feel supported. Trust and respect are nonnegotiable in any health care relationship. 

Under the Gown, Over the Nerves

It might feel awkward the first time, but talking openly about your sexual health gets easier and more empowering the more you do it. You deserve care that covers all of you, not just the parts you’re comfortable discussing. So, take a deep breath, grab your notes and strut into that appointment like the confident, health-savvy legend you are. 

Resources: 

National Institute of Mental Health (24 August 2022). Tips for Talking With a Health Care Provider About Your Mental Health https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/tips-for-talking-with-your-health-care-provider 

Health Central (15 November 2021). 5 Tips for Using Language to Help Your Doctor Understand Your Chronic Pain

https://www.healthcentral.com/pain-management/using-language-describe-pain 

Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization (August 2024). Identity and access: Gender-based preferences and physician availability in primary care https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167268124002671 

Health for California (01 April 2024). What Is Preventive Care? https://www.healthforcalifornia.com/blog/what-is-preventive-care