Why Exploring Sex Toys with a Partner Can Improve Your Sex Life

Sex toys, also known as sexual devices or sexual enrichment aids, are a category of devices that are designed or used to enhance pleasure during sexual activity, whether solo or partnered. They date back to the Paleolithic era, when the earliest versions were carved out of stone or bison horns. Most commonly, these devices include items that stimulate genital areas such as the vulva, clitoris, penis, anus, testicles, and rectum, usually through vibration or penetration. However, other aids may be included in this category, such as handcuffs, lubricants, or toys common to BDSM activities.

Use of these aids is highly prevalent in the general population, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. In fact, they may be considered a tool for the improvement of a couple’s sexual health, for educational purposes, or for breaking the stigma surrounding female and minority sexuality. Some studies have shown that women who use sex toys are more aware of their gynecological health and often have better sexual function (SF). Additionally, sex toys are not intended exclusively for solo masturbation, and couples might want to use them as a tool to improve sexual quality of life, increase sexual expression, or introduce some level of excitement into their sexual routine.

To investigate how sexual health differs between women using sex devices with a partner versus for solo masturbation, and to determine if there are any effects on psychological outcomes, researchers surveyed 361 heterosexual, cisgender Italian women between the ages of 18-36 years old via an online questionnaire. Questions included those from the full Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI), the Orgasmometer, the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD-7) scale, the Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ-9), the Dark Future Scale (DFS), and some pertaining to demographics and use of sex toys in the past 12 months. Participants were recruited online via social media between May and June 2023.

Sex Toys and Orgasm Intensity

Of this sample size, 41% reported using sex devices exclusively for solo masturbation, and 59% reported using sex devices for both masturbation and partnered sexual activity. Most women reported having had a single partner within the past 12 months. Additionally, 58% of all participants reported that it was easier for them to achieve orgasm by masturbation than through partnered activity.

Broken down further, those in the masturbation and partnered sex group reported higher scores in the FSFI domains of arousal and satisfaction, as well as higher Orgasmometer scores and more intense orgasms during partnered sexual activity (over masturbation). Researchers suggest that this may be due to reports that the sex aids used in partnered activity may improve sexual desire in the male partner and his erectile function, which then associates with a lower prevalence or progression of female sexual dysfunction.

Women who solely use toys to masturbate were more likely to have intense orgasms when masturbating than women who use toys both to masturbate and in partnered sexual activity. Researchers suggest that this difference in sexual response to different scenarios may have to do with the type of device used. Those used solely for masturbation allow for a different range of stimulation, specific to the vaginal complex or clitoris, than those designed for partnered sex, which may only allow for stimulation during penetration or arousal without stimulation, like handcuffs or strap-ons. Additionally, women tend to know their own sexual physiology much better than a sexual partner, meaning that those who use toys for masturbation only are more likely to be more aware of their preferred stimulation methods and may feel more freedom to explore, whereas partnered activity is more affected by the couple’s dynamic or existing stigma.

Sex Toys and Mental Health

Researchers found no significant difference in responses to GAD-7, PHQ-9, or DHS responses between groups. This would suggest that psychological issues are neither positively nor negatively directly affected by sex toys. Any patients with pathological levels of anxiety, depression, or uncertainty for the future should receive separate treatment to improve sexual health.

Conclusion

Overall, sex toys have positive effects on female sexual health in both partnered and solitary situations. Findings from this study support the recommendation of sexual aids to promote overall sexual satisfaction in couples, as well as to improve female sexual satisfaction. Sexual aids may also be prescribed currently as treatments, such as pelvic floor rehabilitation devices, or vaginal dilators with various properties like vibration or thermal feedback.

Some limitations of this study include a lack of generalizability to minority populations, potential for response bias, and the inclusion of all sex toys without testing separately for each device. Despite these, it's recommended that sex toys may be introduced by sex therapists and all sexual medicine providers as an option for improved sexual function in individuals and couples.

References:

Sansone, A., Mollaioli, D., Colonnello, E., Bandini, C., Morello, M., Marinelli, G., Ciocca, G., Limoncin, E., & Jannini, E. A. (2025). Toys in the bedroom: Use of sexual devices in partnered sexual activity is associated with higher female orgasmic intensity, arousal, and sexual satisfaction and is not related to psychopathologies. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 22(3), 397–403. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdaf004